Just started chatting with someone new and interesting? Perhaps you are in a long-distance relationship and want to keep the connection going. With Tinder, Bumble, or WhatsApp, chances are, at some point, you will exchange erotic text messages or field requests from the person of the moment to share a sexy selfie of yourself. So here is a quick sexting guide to everything you need to know about the art of erotic messaging and sending sexy selfies!
Sexting - Is it a thing in India?
Is sexting something my Indian friends do? So I asked some friends if they sext and if they like it. Sure enough, X-rated messaging turned out to be a popular pastime. One friend, a young author and environmentalist, had used sexting to cut through the embarrassment of sharing kinky desires. "My ex was especially interested in knowing what I find kinky," he said. "I ended up sharing a few of my preferences and fantasies on chat. Personally, words have a lot of meaning for me. And it's exciting to share something so intimate with a partner in writing. Plus, texting is safe. It's sometimes easier to just say how you feel and what you want over a text than in person, especially early on." Another 26-year-old friend, a guy living in Delhi who works for an MNC, seemed to be more into sexting than the real thing. His analysis: "It's an unorthodox arousal because your partner is not there in front of you. The cerebral arousal is better and more exciting than just the physical."
Exchanging erotic messages can be a huge turn-on. And although swapping sexually explicit messages and naked photos might be a common way of sexting, even the most harmless of flirtatious messages can qualify as sexting if they make you hot under the collar. A simple 'What r u wearing?' can be enough to raise the temperature. It's more about the intention rather than the wording or images.
Why do Indians love sexting?
Many people sext because it makes them feel sexy or allows them to flirt more easily, according to a study in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking. Plus, sexting can boost your sexual confidence. Bottom line: It can be fun to sext with someone you're into.
But the most fundamental reason behind sexting is often instant sexual gratification. When physical or sexual contact is unavailable, say in a long-distance relationship, sexting becomes the go-to solution for everything from flirtation to masturbation.
How to start your first sexting adventure
Are you wondering how to get started with sexting? Striking up an erotic conversation with text messages can sometimes be awkward. Here are some tried and tested sexting openers to get you started!
1. "What's your fantasy?"
Why it works: This invitation allows your partner's imagination to run wild without pushing them outside their comfort zone - this is useful if you and your partner don't know each other that well yet.
2. "Remember that time we ... [insert an erotic moment you both shared]?"
Why it works: Get things going by sharing a memory of a wild night or passionate kiss.
3. "I'm getting wet/hard just thinking about you."
Why it works: Who wouldn't love to know that thinking of them gets their partner all hot and bothered?
4. "Let's try something new tonight."
Why it works: This lets your partner know you're feeling adventurous and starts the conversation about your fantasies.
Tips from sexting pros
1. Using a vibrator for self-pleasure? Involve your partner in solo play by sexting them as you masturbate. Describe in detail how you're pleasuring yourself. Go ahead and send your partner a pic of your favourite toy!
3. Bring your intimacy up a notch and give your lover an orgasm via sexting. You would ask - how to sext someone until they come? Easy - pick an app-operated sex toy and take over the controls. Don't forget to check up on your partner via text after employing every new setting.
Sexting Safety and Common Sense
Sexting: just harmless fun? Well, not everyone is up for receiving pornographic one-liners over lunch. And guys are more likely to be into sexting than women. Like all things sexual, both partners have to be equally into it. Find out first if you’re unsure whether someone wants to receive your steamy messages. If they are not into it, let it go right away. It's no longer flirtation; it’s becoming sexual harassment.
The darkest side of sexting is revenge porn. A relationship turns sour, and one bitter ex (often the guy) starts catapulting nude pics of their former sext partner onto the web. When graphic images that were supposed to be strictly personal soon begin making the rounds on social media, it can jeopardize friendships and employment prospects, and leave long-lasting emotional scars. Sexting is all about trust. And in relationships, trust can be here today, gone tomorrow. So be aware that texting sexually charged images of yourself means losing control of those images once you've sent them. Assume that those images may become public and decide for yourself how you will live with that. But sexting doesn't have to stop. Suggestive, non-nude images can do the trick and often are hotter than nudies. So they're a great substitute if you have even the slightest doubt about the situation.
Safety Before Selfie: One way to make your adventure less stressful is only to share pictures you are proud of and would be (theoretically) okay with uncleji, bhabi, akka, and your bff from college seeing. Never feel pressured to step outside your comfort zone or send pictures to people you don’t completely trust. And even if you are sharing photos with a long-term partner, you may want to consider the unintended consequences of smartphones getting lost, saved screenshots of snapchats, and scandalous pictures ending up on the Internet! A good first rule of sexting: when you send those nude photos include the erotic parts, but do not include your face. At the risk of sounding very 1997, it is wiser always to leave out your face or other identifiable markers like tattoos when you are sharing seriously eyebrow-raising photos. If the worst comes to the worst and your body ends up as porn fodder, at least nobody will know it’s you.
How to take a sexy selfie
Stay Calm and Selfie On: It can be a little intimidating to start taking pictures of yourself that are suggestive yet sexy and tasteful. Once you start posing, you may feel self-conscious, vain or uncomfortable. But take a long relaxing shower, put on your favourite tune and get started!
Less is More: Sexy selfies always leave something to the imagination. A flash of bare thighs, suggested cleavage, a strap sliding down a cheekily bared shoulder, a hint of lace, and droplets of water on your skin that will make him think of the hottest Bollywood rain song ever. Suggestive poses and pictures can all go a long way in turning up the temperature without being too out there. Less IS more, as they say.
Be Playful: Jillian Paulson swears by her fail-safe trick of sending a quick picture of the waistband of whatever underwear she is wearing that day and says dudes love a peek at her navel ring and lace-topped panties! You could also have fun with a suggestive picture of you licking a lollipop, an ice gola or an ice cube, or get playful, sliding off the bed wearing your boyfriend’s white shirt and an innocent expression to get the games started. But if those options seem too in your face? Just stick with flattering pictures of you blowing a kiss or experiment with cool Instagram filters to enhance makeup. Then use the 1977 filter to give your now-standard pouty, OTT selfie an exaggerated retro feel.
Other excellent camera hacks: It takes a little practice to pose like a pro, but remember to tilt your head and angle your body. If you want that dreamy look, stare just off to the side of the camera. If you want something more energetic, look directly into the lens and imagine seducing or controlling your lover. Visualizing a hot moment will give you a more sensual facial expression. Pictures of you looking dead straight at the camera or arms akimbo will not look sexy. Hold your phone at shoulder level and twist your hips towards the camera while slightly bringing the opposite shoulder towards the camera. If that sounds more complicated than bhujangasana, look at how celebrities pose for selfies! Lighting is everything when it comes to taking sexy pictures. Shoot pictures in the early morning or at twilight, and use sources like big open windows to make the most of your photos.
For the Men: If you boys are wondering how you can participate in all this sexy selfie fun, take heart! You can do a lot to pique someone's interest without sending an unsolicited picture of your junk! Many women are likely to find that just-home-from-work-after-a-long-day look very hot, and it is not an R-rated picture that might boomerang on you. Try unbuttoning a few buttons on that shirt of yours with the tie askew. What about putting on an apron and taking a picture of you cooking up a storm? Maybe it will get her thinking about the morning after and if you are feeling confident and reckless, go with the sexy stubble and the fresh out of the shower in a towel look.