Just started chatting with someone new and interesting? Perhaps you are in a long distance relationship and want to keep the connection going. Whatever be the case, in this age of Tinder, Whatsapp, and Snapchat, chances are you are going to exchange erotic text messages at some point or field requests, from the man or the woman of the moment, to share a sexy selfie of yourself. So here is a quick sexting guide to everything you need to know about the art of erotic messaging and sexy selfies in India!
Sexting - Is it a thing in India?
Is sexting actually something my Indian friends do? I plucked up my courage and asked a couple of friends whether they’re experienced sexters. Sure enough, X-rated messaging turned out to be a popular pastime. One friend, a young author and environmentalist, had used sexting to cut through the embarrassment of sharing kinky desires. “My ex was especially interested in knowing what I find kinky,” he said. “I ended up sharing a few of my preferences and some of my fantasies on chat. Personally, words have a lot of meaning for me. And it's exciting to share something so intimate with a partner in writing. Plus, texting is safe. It's sometimes easier to just say how you feel and what you want over a text than in person, especially early on.” Another 26-year-old friend, a guy living in Delhi who works in an MNC, actually seemed to be more into sexting than the real thing. His analysis: “It’s an unorthodox arousal because your partner is not there in front of you. The cerebral arousal is better and more exciting than just the physical.”
Exchanging erotic messages can be a huge turn-on. And although swapping sexually explicit messages and naked photos might be a common way of sexting, even the most harmless of flirtatious messages can qualify as sexting if they make you hot under the collar. A simple ‘What r u wearing?’ can be enough to raise the temperature.
Why do Indians love sexting?
For many people, the reason they sext is to feel sexy or to flirt more easily, according to a study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking. Plus, sexting can give your sexual confidence a boost.
But most basic reason behind sexting is often instant sexual gratification. When physical sexual contact is not available, say in a long-distance relationship, then sexting becomes the go-to solution for everything from flirtation to masturbation.
How to start your first sexting adventure
Wondering how to get started with sexting? Striking up an erotic conversation over text messages can be awkward. Here are some tried and tested sexting openers to get you started!
1. "What's your fantasy?"
Why it works: This invitation allows your partner's imagination to run wild without pushing them outside their comfort zone - this can be especially useful if you and your partner don't know each other that long yet.
2. "Remember that time we ... [insert an erotic moment you both shared]?"
Why it works: Get things going by sharing a memory of a wild night or passionate kiss you shared.
3. "I'm getting wet/hard just thinking about you."
Why it works: Who wouldn't love to know that thinking of them gets their partner all hot and bothered?
4. "Let's try something new tonight."
Why it works:This lets your partner know you're feeling adventurous and get the conversation about your fantasies started.
Tips for sexting pros
1. Involve your partner in solo play by sexting them as you masturbate. Describe in detail how you're pleasuring yourself. Using a vibrator for self pleasure? Go ahead and send your partner a pic of your favourite toy!
2. Share your dirtiest fantasies and shop for new couples' sex toys together. Send your partner links of the naughtiest products you like and describe what you plan on doing with them - and the toy.
3. Bring your intimacy up a notch and really give your lover an orgasm via sexting. You would ask - how to sext someone until they come? Easy - just pick an app-operated sex toy and take over the controls. Don’t forget to check up on your partner via text after employing every new setting.
What to keep in mind when it comes to sexting
So is sexting all just harmless fun? Well, not everyone is up for receiving pornographic one-liners over lunch. And the US study found that guys were more likely to be into sexting than women. Like all things sexual, both partners have to be equally into it. If you’re not sure whether someone is eager to receive your steamy suggestions, that’s not flirtation, it’s sexual harassment.
The darkest side of sexting is ‘revenge porn’. A relationship turns sour, and one bitter ex (usually the guy) starts sprinkling nude pics of their former sext partner around the web. When graphic images that were supposed to be strictly private end up wafting around social media, it can leave a traumatised victim losing friends and employment prospects. Sexting is all about trust. And in relationships, trust can be here today, gone tomorrow.
Sexting is nothing to feel guilty about. If you want to send that nude photo or flirtatious message to your sexual partner, go ahead and do it. Revel in your sexuality. But handle with care.
Safety Before Selfie: One way to make your adventure less stressful is to only share pictures you are proud of and would be (theoretically) okay with uncleji, bhabi, akka, and your bff from college seeing. Never feel pressured to step outside your comfort zone or send pictures to people you don’t completely trust. And even if you are sharing pictures with a long term partner, you may want to consider the unintended consequences of smartphones getting lost, snapchats being saved as a screenshot, and scandalous pictures ending up on the Internet! A good first rule of sexting: when you send those nude photos, include the erotic parts, but miss off your face. Then if the worst comes to the worst and your body ends up as porn-fodder, at least nobody will know it’s you. At the risk of sounding very 1997, we think it is a smarter idea to always leave out your face or other identifiable markers like tattoos when you are sharing seriously eyebrow-raising photos.
How to take a sexy selfie
Stay Calm and Selfie On: Though we live in a visual world it can be a little intimidating to start taking pictures of yourself that are suggestive yet sexy and tasteful. Once you start posing you may feel self conscious, vain or uncomfortable. But take a long relaxing shower, put on your favorite tune and get started!
Less is More: Sexy selfies always leave something to the imagination. A flash of bare thighs, the mere suggestion of cleavage, a picture of just your legs with some high heels, a strap sliding down a cheekily bared shoulder, a hint of lace, and droplets of water on your skin that will make him think of the hottest Bollywood rain song ever, can all go a long way in turning up the temperature without being too out there.
Be Playful: Jillian Paulson swears by her never fail trick of sending a quick picture of just the top of whatever underwear she is wearing on the day and says dudes seem to love getting a peek at her navel ring and some lace-topped panties! You could also have fun with a suggestive picture of you licking a lollipop, an ice gola or an ice cube, or get playful, sliding off the bed wearing your boyfriend’s white shirt and an innocent expression to get the games started. But if those options seem too in your face, you could just stick with flattering pictures of you blowing a kiss or experiment with cool instagram filters, to enhance makeup, and use the 1977 filter to give your now-standard pouty, OTT selfie an exaggerated retro feel.
Other cool camera hacks: It takes a little bit of practice to pose like a pro but the key thing to remember is: Tilt your head, angle your body. Pictures shot with you looking dead straight at the camera or arms akimbo are just not going to look sexy. Hold your phone at the shoulder level and twist your hips towards the camera, while bringing the opposite shoulder towards the camera, slightly, and if that sounds more complicated than bhujangasana just take a look at how celebrities pose for selfies! Lighting is everything when it comes to taking sexy pictures. Shoot pictures in the early morning or at twilight and use sources like big open windows to make the most of your pictures.
For the Men: If the men are wondering how they can participate in all this sexy selfie madness, boys take heart! You can do a lot to pique the other’s person interest without sending an unsolicited picture of your junk! Maybe you want to try unbuttoning a few buttons on that shirt of yours with the tie askew. A lot of women are likely to find that just-home-from-work-after-a-long-day look very hot, and it is not a R rated picture that is likely to boomerang on you. What about putting on an apron and take a picture of you cooking up a storm? Maybe it will get her thinking about the morning after…and if you are feeling confident and reckless go with the sexy stubble and the fresh out of the shower in a towel look.