Passion-filled, unconventional, frightening, and exciting - anal play has been practised by people for centuries, yet there remains a vast mystery about it. “Is it painful?!”, “How to do it right?!”, “How to avoid the... mess??” Questions course through our heads every time someone touches us there.
Because anal sex is still a big taboo in India despite Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code being relegated to history (finally!!), most Indians feel uncomfortable asking their doctor questions about anal sex. So while we would still encourage you to approach a medical professional should you ever feel unwell during or after anal sex, we shall provide pointers on preparing for anal sex. After all, the most important aspect of getting ready for anal play is that you feel comfortable and can get all the extraordinary benefits from this kind of love-making.
Step 1: First things first - Talk about it!
Make sure you and your partner have discussed having anal sex before trying it. If you're not mentally prepared for anal sex, it most likely will be unpleasant and even painful. Consent is vital in all play, and surprising your partner with a new sexual experience (anal penetration) is never a good idea.
Ladies, a good way of finding out if you're ready for anal sex is to try it by yourself first. When you're on your own, you can experiment with different sensations and, if you're comfortable, sizes of anal toys to prepare yourself. Small anal plugs are a great way to start and train your anus on your own. Important: Not every sex toy is suitable for anal use! Only a sex toy with a wide base that keeps it from 'getting lost' in your bum is ideal for anal play. So don't use your regular vibrator anally unless it is designed for anal use!
Step 2: How to clean yourself before anal sex
Option 1 - 'Keeping it natural'
Many people get hung up on "The Mess". Many people find it's sufficient to prepare for anal sex by going to the toilet and emptying their bowels and then using some wet wipes or water and mild soap to clean up. Following a bowel movement, there usually isn't much residual waste left. Before anal sex, there are specific cleaning techniques you can use, but keep in mind that you are, after all, sticking something in your bum.
Option 2 - Enemas and douches
That said, if you want to take an extra step, you can use an enema or anal douche for a deeper, more comprehensive clean. Let's start with the equipment you'll need. The first option for you is the enema bag (available in pharmacies or online). You fill the bag with water, attach the hose, and hang the bag on the door knob or shower curtain rod. Open the valve, and you're good to go. Make sure to use only a little water since it's hard to regulate.
Enema bulbs or douches offer an easier way to do this. Both reusable and disposable enemas are available in pharmacies. If you use a disposable one, pour out the laxative solution, rinse the bottle out, and fill it with warm water. Enema bags and bulbs are readily available in pharmacies across India as they are commonly used to treat constipation.
Whichever method you prefer, the procedure is similar: Make sure that the toilet is close by when you start douching. Thoroughly rinse the douche/enema bag before you use it to ensure it’s clean. Ensure the water you use is clean (we recommend drinking water!) and mildly warm – you don’t want it too hot or too cold. Make sure it is just clean water – no soap or other cleansing products, as these will cause pain and irritation.
Lubricate the nozzle before insertion. It is better to remain standing to keep the water in the rectum if you’re using a douche. Or you can do this on your elbows and knees or while lying on your side when you want to clean deeper with a larger volume of water. Insert the nozzle 2/3 inches inside. Gently squeeze the bulb to allow the water to come inside or open the valve of an enema bag. Do not let go of the bulb until you have removed it from yourself – otherwise, you will suffer ‘suck back’ – all that water will get sucked back inside the douche if you let go whilst it’s inside.
Hold the water for 10-15 seconds and release it into the toilet. If you’re using a bulb enema, you can hold the water in while refilling the bulb. You’ll start to feel ‘full’, hop over to the toilet, sit down and expel. Once you have discharged all the water, flush and then go again. You may want to check how clean the water is so you can see the difference by flushing. Repeat the steps no more than three times (basically, until the water you expel is running clear, this can take between 2 to 3 expulsions). You will also want to maybe wait 30 mins to an hour after douching before getting into anal play. Water can get trapped in the folds of the rectum and take a little time to come out. Stay near a bathroom until it does.
Important things to remember:
DON’T put too much water in one go.
DO remember to use warmish water, and to re-lube with each insertion.
DON’T use anything other than clean water, otherwise you could cause some serious damage.
Do not enema more than once a week as it impacts your body chemistry down there
Using enemas or douches is okay as long as it’s done in moderation, and you take the time to do it properly. Like most things, douching is a personal choice, and everyone will have their own way of doing it. Too many enemas can lead to enema dependency, so don’t overdo it.
Step 3: Go slow and use lots and lots of lube!
By going slow, you'll give yourself time to adjust to the size and sensations without becoming overwhelmed or off-put by the feeling. If you're on the receiving end, walk your partner through what feels good and manage the pace. If you're on the giving end, pay attention to your partner at all times so you're on the same page.
Regarding anal sex, one thing is straightforward: the more lube, the better. Because the anus and rectum aren't naturally self-lubricating, these areas need all the help they can get during anal play. So, stock up on lube and re-apply as often as needed!