The most desirable and unconventional, frightening and exciting - anal play has been practised by people for centuries and yet there is a lot of mystery about it. “Is it painful?!”, “How to do it right?!”, “How to avoid the... mess??” the questions rush through our head every time someone accidentally touches us there.
Because anal sex is still such a big taboo in India despite Article 377 being history (finally!!), most Indians feel uncomfortable asking their doctor questions about anal sex. So while we would still encourage you to approach a medical professional in case you ever feel unwell before or after anal sex, we will try to teach you how to prepare yourself for anal sex in this article. After all, the most important aspect of getting ready for anal play is that you feel comfortable and can get all the amazing benefits from this kind of love-making.
Step 1: First things first - Talk about it!
Make sure that you and your partner have discussed having anal sex prior to trying it. Consent is key in all play, and surprising your partner with a new sexual experience is never a good idea. If you're not mentally prepared for anal sex, it most likely will be unpleasant and even painful.
A good way of finding out if you're ready for anal sex is to try it by yourself first. When you're on your own, you can experiment with different sensations and, if you're comfortable, sizes of anal toys, to prepare yourself. Small anal plugs are a great way to start and train your anus on your own. Important: Not every sex toy is suitable for anal use! Only sex toys with a wide base that keeps it from 'getting lost' in the anus are suitable for anal play. So don't use your regular vibrator anally, unless it is specifically designed for anal use as well!
Step 2: How to clean yourself before anal sex
Option 1 - 'Keeping it natural'
A lot of people get hung up on "The Mess". Before anal sex, there are certainly cleaning techniques you can use, but it's always good to keep in mind that you are, after all, sticking something in your bum. Many people find that it's sufficient to prepare for anal sex by going to the toilet and emptying their bowels and then using some wet wipes or water and mild soap to clean the anus.
Option 2 - Enemas and douches
That said, if you want to take extra precautions, you can use an enema or anal douche for a deeper, more comprehensive clean. Let’s start with the equipment you'll need. First option for you is the enema bag (available in Indian pharmacies or online). You fill the bag with water, attach the hose, and hang the bag on the door knob or shower curtain rod. Open the valve and you’re good to go. Make sure not to use too much water since it’s hard to regulate.
Enema bulbs or douche offer an easier way to do this. You can try a reusable one, or you can use a disposable enema (available in Indian pharmacies). If you use a disposable one, pour out the laxative solution, rinse the bottle out, and fill with warm water. Both enema bags and bulbs are easily available in pharmacies across India, as they are commonly used to treat constipation.
Whichever method you prefer, the procedure is similar: Make sure that when you start douching, you are within easy reach of the toilet. Thoroughly rinse the douche/enema bag before you use it to ensure it’s clean. Ensure the water you use is clean (we recommend drinking water!) and mildly warm – you don’t want it too hot or too cold. Make sure it is JUST CLEAN WATER – no soap or any other cleansing products, as these will cause pain and irritation. Ensure that the nozzle to be inserted is well lubricated before insertion. It is better to remain standing in order to keep the water in the rectum if you’re using a douche or you can do this on your elbows and knees or while lying on your side when you want to clean deeper with a bigger amount of water. Insert the nozzle 2/3 inches inside. Gently squeeze the bulb to allow the water to come inside or open the valve of a enema bag. Do not let go of the bulb until you have removed it from yourself – otherwise you will suffer ‘suck back’ – all that water will get sucked back inside the douche if you let go whilst it’s inside.
Hold the water for 10-15 seconds and release it into the toilet. If you’re using a bulb enema, you can hold the water in while refilling the bulb. You’ll start to feel ‘full’, then hop over to the toilet, sit down and expel. Once you have expelled all the water, flush and then go again. You may want to check how clean the water is, so by flushing, you can see the difference. Repeat the steps as necessary (basically, until the water you expel is running clear, this can take between 2 to 3 expulsions). You will also want to maybe wait between 30 mins to an hour after douching before engaging in anal play. Water can get trapped in the folds of the rectum and take a little time to come out. Stay near a bathroom until it does.
Important things to remember:
DON’T put too much water in one go.
DO remember to use warmish water, and to re-lube with each insertion.
DON’T use anything other than clean water, otherwise you could cause some serious damage.
Using enemas or douches is okay, as long as it’s done in moderation, and you take the time to do it properly. Like most things, douching is a personal choice, and everyone will have their own way of doing it. Too many enemas can lead to enema dependency, so don’t overdo it.
Step 3: Go slow and use lots and lots of lube!
By going slow, you'll give yourself time to adjust to the size and sensations without becoming overwhelmed or off-put by the feeling. If you're on the receiving end, walk your partner through what feels good - helping to manage the pace. If you're on the giving end, make sure to pay attention to your partner at all times, so that you're on the same page.
When it comes to anal sex, one thing is very simple: the more lube, the better. Because the anus and rectum aren’t naturally self-lubricating, these areas need all the help they can get during anal play. So make sure to stock up on lube and re-apply as often as needed!