I remember my first threesome experience fondly. Well… more like I cringe a little bit, and shake my head in embarrassed disappointment. My younger (more sexually experimental) self was a ball of confusion and angst, but mostly just raging hormones, crying out for the female body. Have I mentioned I’m a female? Yup, I’m a lesbian (or as a I like to see it, sexually fluid, but that’s a whole other story).
My first threesome experience was embarrassing and involved a boy, a very confused girl (me), and the most beautiful human who, to date, sends electric pulses racing through my nerves, warming my ever cold feet with love and lust. Her name was Sabina, but she was my star. With her lush, glowing skin and green/brown eyes, I knew the first time I saw her, I loved her, I wanted her but, homosexuality was (and is) a taboo topic, so I kept my mouth shut, and continued to date a butthead of a boy.
The threesome started out as a ‘dare’, an alcohol-fuelled (though alcohol is NEVER consent for yourself or anyone to act out their desires) suggestion, that turned into the most wonderful, pivotal night of my life. In a whiskey-fuelled stupor I remember suggesting to my boyfriend that we have a threesome, plain and simple. I giggled, acting like it was a thoughtless suggestion, when really I had thought (real hard) about it, as he responded will one word, “what?” So again I said, “A threesome. I mean, haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to bend the ‘traditional’ intercourse rule?” His eyes widened (or maybe that was my blurry imagination) but I vividly remember the growing excitement, because I could see I had caught his attention. As I very logically and nonchalantly carried on this conversation in my head I was already imagining this 'taboo' act taking place. My thoughts were split: between the morality of it, the idea of having feelings for multiple people, the slight weirdness I felt about having sex with more than one person, but most importantly my mind was focused on finally, maybe, Sabina.
Our sexual adventure physically began on a Saturday, but really it began several days before. Sabina and I were (and still are!) friends in common social circles. So one day, at the end of the work day, I approached her. It was weird, awkward, and I regret being so… formal, but I started with, “I’m confused, and I think I may love you.” – Arguably, I throw the “L” word around too often. So I went on to tell her, the truth: about my sexuality, her, my boyfriend, and well, the threesome.
When she responded, my heart stopped. So that Saturday, my boyfriend came over as did Sabina. Immediately, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and started to down it, like a parched water-deprived wanderer in the Sahara. I didn’t drink that night, I didn’t want to. I wanted this to be me, in my body and sense, I wanted to remember this forever. I put on a Louis Armstrong vinyl (cheesy, I know) and so it began.
Now, although I’m not a fan of penis-penetration, I’m not going to lie, it was a fun night. It was awkward and messy at first, as we all kind of tried to pull moves like those we had seen in stupid pornos, till we realized that it really wasn’t going to work. It was funny, at one point we all just actually stopped what we were doing and had a 5 minute chat, (haha, yup while naked and horny!) and eventually decided we’d just be ourselves, and be real. Apart from the occasionally slurring by my boyfriend, it was truly a beautiful night and more than just finally getting to be one with her body, devouring her and trying all these cheeky stunts: it was just having her close and, she reciprocated this warm love I could feel through her touch. After it was over, my boyfriend left but she stayed and we cuddled, that’s it. It really did feel like REAL love, not forced or ‘pretend’ love.
My first threesome experience, most importantly, got me thinking. First and foremost, it helped me proudly accept my sexuality. Yes, I am a woman but for the most part, 4/5 times, I am sexually attracted to women. So what? But again, that is a whole other rant and rave. It also got me thinking about our fantasies, desires and personal preferences when it comes to sex. It really bothers me, you know, that our world today has even put labels and boxes on one of our most instinctive reactions. That men must like women, and vice versa. Sex is for reproduction. It must be done this way, and that’s that, no questions asked (or entertained!) Hell to that.
Experimenting with something as adventurous as a threesome helped me finally realize that no matter what, my (or anybody’s) sexual preferences whether they are sex toys, bondage, fetishes, desires, experimental wants, sexual dominance, dressing up (down!), age differences…whatever - they are OK. I am (we are!) not weird, or abnormal. So, let’s face it, as long as it’s my body, I’m using protection and there is verbal CONSENT from all parties involved, why the hell not. Who is to tell me what I can’t and can do in bed. My first threesome experience was…magical.
Deepika (name changed for obvious reasons) wrote this piece for Lovetreats. If you'd like to share your experience, write to us at: lovetreats@lovetreats.in